Can Pie open a letter? Can you use Pie to do handicrafts? Is Pie any good when you're trying to defend yourself against a lunatic?... well, maybe that third one.

Debate the virtues of Pie vs. Scissors. Which one is the best? Why? What makes Pie so much better than a good pair of Fiskars?

Pie is happiness on crust.

Pie won't work for quilting.

Scissors make this:


Scissors are not delicious with ice cream.

It's a toss up!

you can run with pie

pie cheers everyone up, be wary of those cheered up by scissors.

scissors can be substituted by exacto knives (which do a better job anyway)

pie is good wiff whip cream, scissors not so much.

cold pie is good, cold scissors...are cold.


pie is awesome, scissors are mundane!

Anything that can be done with scissors can be done with either a razor or knife.

scissors = expendable

Lemon merangue pie cannot be replaced.

(edit: chez...like minds and all...)

I could use scissors to stab people and then take away their pies.

You can have sex with a pie..


I wouldn't try it with scissors.

**Now I can walk away very quickly with your scissors.

No one wins a scissor eating contest.

Pie makes you care LESS about what's in the mailbox. Pie is an excellent adjunct to handicrafts, and may even inspire them. And pie distracts lunatics.... at least, it does me.

A piece of pie, especially warm homemade cherry with Breyer's vanilla ice cream on top, is better than a pair of Fiskars anyday. It's not even a contest!

I have special scissors that cut pie crust so I can easily fit it into the pie plate.

Scissors seem to be getting put down on here.

You cannot cut your hair with pie, or get your cocker spaniel groomed with pie.

You cannot cut an umbilical cord after delivering a baby, with pie.

You cannot shear a sheep with pie.

You cannot expose a patient in an accident with pie either.

You cannot trim a hedge with pie.

But pie does have its merits.

It's funny when someone throws a pie in your face, scissors not so much.

Wait... are we talking about all kinds of Pie?

Because I know some people who would use scissors to trim a fur pie...

A goat will eat scissors as if it were pie...

Pie is sort of messy if you use it to make crafts, but beware of baking scissors as the melting metal will burn your hands...

Exactly, that's the point I was trying to get across.

If you're trying to make a point, you should probably use scissors.

Slice of pie has a point

How very Dr Seuss.

A crowd had gathered for this moment and a hush had settled over them, quelling the excited nervousness that had dominated their numbers just moments ago.

Joe and Tim's eyes met with ferocity. The heat was on in this moment. Their eyes never straying from the cold stare of the other, Joe threw his hand down flat, palm facing the ground.

At the same time Tim threw out two fingers, like a sideways peace sign.

Scissors win. That was one of three.

They withdrew their hands it. If Tim could do it again, he would have the game and the respect of his collegues.

They each shook their fists three times and dropped new signs. Tim threw scissors again, an old stand by for him. But Joe... Joe threw both hands, making a large circle with the fingers.

"What the hell is that supposed to be?" Tim

"It's a pie," Joe said. "A delicious apple pie."

Tim stared at him blankly for a while. "Pie isn't a legal move, Tim."

"Doesn't matter, it's delicious."

"Well yes," Tim agreed; "It is delicious."

"You see?" Joe asked.

"But it doesn't beat scissors."

Grimacing, Joe conceeded to the point and bowed his head in shame while Tim raised his fists in triumph. The crowd cheered, lifted him up on his shoulders and carried him off to the bar for endless drinks.

Meanwhile, Joe stood alone while the custodial staff cleaned up around him.

Moral: Pies are delicous, but they will get you disqualified.

I suggest we never let Kakana work at the Cheese Cake Factory, much less Subway.

My foreskin laments the thought of scissors there was a poor but insanely popular teen movie made about the possibly enjoyable interaction of foreskin and pie. Pie > Scissors (for my foreskin).

Actually, wasn't there a news story recently about a teenager that scalded his peener after sticking it in a fresh, hot pie??

I guess it's best just to keep your junk away from scissors and pies.

Oh, and Hot Pockets! Good lord, don't stick anything inside a Hot Pocket after it's been nuked.

*shudders*